The Three Instincts (subtypes): Using the Enneagram to Create Balance in Your Life and Harmony with Your Relationships

Our instinctual nature, while extremely powerful in our decision-making processes, lifestyle choices, and orientation to day-to-day reality, is often given little emphasis in many spiritual paths, and the Instincts are often treated as an inherent problem—a distortion to be eliminated. This is understandable since this part of our nature is usually little interested in our spiritual or psychological development. Yet, without a clear and viable relationship with this aspect of our souls, it is extremely difficult to maintain an integrated approach to our path.

The Enneagram deals very directly with this aspect of the Self through teachings about the Three Instincts—Self-Preservation, Sexual (Attraction), and Social (Adaptation). Seminal ideas about the three Instincts go back at least as far as Gurdjieff’s teachings about the Centers and have equivalents in other spiritual traditions. In recent years, many Enneagram students have discovered the explanatory power of seeing how their instinctual bias operates in combination with their dominant Enneagram type. Learning how their type plays itself out through one of these Instincts can be as exciting as when we first learn about the Enneagram.

In this Workshop, we will first clarify and deepen our understanding of the Instincts, seeing them at work in our personal experience. We will also examine how our particular instinctual “stack”—the way we prioritize our basic human needs and values—is the pattern that most keeps us locked in the repetitive habits of our personality. (One of the quickest ways to unlock the Passion and Fixation of our type is to understand and work on the imbalance in our Instincts.) Recognizing the way we give energy to certain needs while neglecting others brings balance and helps us integrate the deeper experiences of Essence and Being that we may have had. Without such Inner Work, even profound experiences of Spirit and Oneness cannot affect our lives the way they could.

The Workshop will employ experiential dyads and triads, meditation, movement work, and music to help participants recognize the ways that these patterns express themselves in their lives. We will also explore concrete ways in which to bring greater balance in our approach to our instinctual life. Our approach is relaxed and conversational, with an emphasis on the development of our capacity to remain in Presence.

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Mellissa Rempfer, MA.ed/AET, P.C.C., AWTP

Human Potential: Helping professionals bring out the best in themselves & others while increasing overall happiness. Mellissa Rempfer is a highly sought-after presenter, teacher, coach, and overall big-hearted speaker who makes everyone feel like she is speaking directly to them with her engaging, down-to-earth style. Mellissa delivers practical topics of human potential transformation for the individual, team, and workplace so that everyone can grow and increase their overall happiness.

With more than two decades in the personal development and growth space (for individuals and organizations), Mellissa provides transformation through very practical topics that provide audiences with simple actionable ideas, plus the clarity and motivation to put them into action right away to improve communication, leadership, interpersonal relationships, and self-awareness to bring out the best in oneself (and others).

Mellissa went from being homeless at the age of 14 to securing a $3 Million donation and $9.8 Million ongoing passive income for a new student center for her college before turning 21. With the same skills of growing personal relationships to make things happen, she shares how we can support (and also hinder one's growth and possibilities).

With certifications to support the work of transformation and growth (Masters in Adult Education in Training and Development, Professional Certified Integral Coach, Certified Enneagram Teacher, and Authorized Workshop Facilitator with the Enneagram Institute), Mellissa is committed to the development of Human Potential, and help others connect with their best version of themselves.

When Mellissa, her husband, and furry dog kids are not traveling full time, you can find Mellissa at various coffee shops or amusement parks. Just look for the kid-size shoes that light up and have sparkles.

Learn what drives you

Want to come experience what the Enneagram can offer? Join Mellissa for the next The Instincts (subtypes) workshop: using the Enneagram to create balance in your life and harmony in your relationships.

July 24th-25th

9am-5:30pm PST


Early Bird (By May 17th, 2021) $325 single payment

or 2 Payments of $185

$495 (After May 17th, 2021)

*Scholarships are available. Please contact us at

Mellissa RempferInstincts