Personal Development

“Should” verses “Could” and how you may be self-sabotaging your productivity, income, and joy

by Mellissa Rempfer on April 20, 2018 No comments

"Should" verses "Could" and how you may be self-sabotaging your productivity, income, and joy. Come discover a simple way to understand how your fears are influencing your ability to be in the flow of abundance financially in your life and business. Learn from Mellissa Rempfer, founder of Giving Excellence and discover how you may be self-sabotaging your productivity, income, and joy. 

Should vs Could Exercise

Grab someone to take notes with for tracking for the next 4 days. Make two columns, one for the "should's" and one for the "could's". Every time you notice that you say or think that something that needs to be done falls into the 'should' category make a tally mark. Same process for the 'could' category. Notice after a few days what is your default- should or could when it comes to how you operate. This is the subconscious operating system running your show of how you show up. Continue to be curious about how and what patterns are showing up with these words. 

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In addition to our blog, I love to share and interact with all of you. If you are enjoying today's blog, I would love to invite you to join me in my facebook group: Bring Business Brilliance with Mellisssa Rempfer. See you there! 🙂

Mellissa Rempfer works to unite the Passion, Mission, Profession, and Vocation of the heart-centered entrepreneur.  Giving Excellence, is a coaching, training, and group facilitation services company dedicated to bringing connection, compassion, and awakening truth to the heart and soul of business. And she does all of this while travelling North America with her three-dog family, giving talks and finding inspiration from people, places, and experiences that touch her heart.

Mellissa Rempfer, MA.ed AET

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Mellissa Rempfer“Should” verses “Could” and how you may be self-sabotaging your productivity, income, and joy

Waking up and inviting others

by Mellissa Rempfer on February 22, 2018 No comments

I will never forget sitting in Burlingame, CA for a training I thought was going to make me a better coach. “I have a little secret I want to share with you” said Russ Hudson, founder of the Enneagram Institute and now my mentor.

Who doesn’t want to know to be in on the secrets, especially those secrets that reveal deeper truth like the Wizard of Oz is a mere human.

“We have been asleep. We engage in life in an autopilot state and have no idea how we are just a man in a machine.”

I saw there listening to Russ. I engaged in the presencing grounding exercises. I noticed my uncomfortableness with all of this, after all, I was here to be a better coach, to build my business, and charge more money. (Hey, I promised I would be truthful and authentic with all of these blogs :-)).

I am not asleep, I know exactly what I am doing.

So I thought. And by “thinking” I was demonstrating exactly one of the many ways I truly was asleep.

I was asleep to having the wrong center of intelligence do the wrong job.

Imagine these three centers: head, heart, and gut/body/instinctive. Now imagine that the role of the heart center was being done by the head center, or the body center is check out so all the insinctive decisions are done by the heart which is being reactionary.

An easy explanation I heard was the farmer was doing the cook’s job, the cook’s job is doing the stable job, and the the stable person is out working the field. Talk about confusion, not being in alignment, and all kinds of mishaps and challenges.

This is what is happening when we are asleep. We are not being in connection with these centers of intelligences, and we are not aware of how we are on autopilot engaging in both life and in business.

Yet, I was’t asleep (so my ego is telling me). I am this great coach doing ____, ____, and ____. 🙂

To demonstrate the extent how we are asleep, Russ invited us to be aware of when we were listening to other peers give their introductions and just notice when we check out (you know those moments when you were listening, then… time warp/distraction/Charlie Brown’s teacher wha wha wha moment).

Yes, guilty, I checked out, yet, I wasn’t asleep. I am a coach who does transformation work. (HEH!)

Day two of the training, I am walking up to the meeting hall. Russ our teacher is standing by a car and greets me. I was in my own mental world thinking of who knows what on my to do list.

Lovingly caught in the act of being asleep. I then realized I was on autopilot, engaging in thoughts, reactions, and behaviors as I was walking up to the class.

Let’s just say there is a lot of awakening truth in the movie The Matrix.

I am committed to Connection, Compassion, and Awakening Truth. Connection to Presence and how everything unfolds and reveals. Compassion on our souls and our business’s through the growth process. Awakening Truth in all that we have been asleep to and what our brilliance is here to embody.

I would love to here your thoughts below. Share a way you have caught yourself on autopilot (could be driving a car, doing dishes, cooking, you name it).

Till next time!

-Mellissa Rempfer

 

 

 

 

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Mellissa RempferWaking up and inviting others

Ladybug Wisdom: You are not alone

by Mellissa Rempfer on February 8, 2018 1 comment

Ladybug Wisdom - You are not alone

As business owners, there are times when we may feel like life is just not all super easy and grand. There will be times when we want to shout from a mountaintop our joys and ecstasy. And, then there are times when we gain movement, and then things slow down or halt. Welcome to Ladybug knowledge, you are not alone being a soulful business owner here to make a difference.

Earlier today I was hosting on one of our Gathering of Brilliance Calls, a collective group of mission-minded heart-centered entrepreneurs who have big purposes to fulfill. Today was the wrap up of our cycle before we open up the circle Feb. 5th. Over the last six weeks, each of these amazing business owners made a commitment and goal to do something in their business that you wanted to complete by Jan. 1st, 2018. The call was honest, real, raw, beautifully emotionally filled with gratitude, love, and appreciation. Each person acknowledged the growth in each other, celebrate not only the goals that were met, but the deeper soulful purposeful goals that arise like a connection to a bigger purpose in life, or connection to family members, or pride in getting more done than what they even dreamed was possible.

Ladybug.... As I held the space and listened to each lovely soul and they showed up in their brilliance (personally and in business) ... ladybugs kept coming to me.

My first thought was huh, maybe my next pedicure I am going to ask for black dots like a ladybug, as a smile crept across my face.

Ladybug... ok, really, why does the word ladybug keep coming to me, and I start to get irritated with this unknowing intervention taking up previous mind space. Ah, LADYBUG, got it :-).

The more present I am, the more connected I am to Presence. And when I am present, I get higher level ah ha's of clarity and wisdom, and during our call Ladybug was one of them.

So here is a little ladybug wisdom for you.

"Ladybugs are about metamorphosis, growth and manifestation of ideas and thoughts. It is a time succeed and start something new. Ladybug Beetles have a protective quality that will aid in the ability to socialize and communicate effectively by illuminating problems and situations in the correct perspective. Are you socializing too much or not enough? Are you eating correctly? Now is the time to examine eating habits. Can you identify which stage of development are you in egg/larva/pupa/adult?. Is it time to 'fly'; or walk in life? Ladybugs will show when to hibernate ideas/actions and emerge in opportune moments. Ladybugs will teach persistence with charm, trust in the process, effectiveness of natural defenses, transformation of unwanted fears along with proper movement and actions which allows the regeneration of your spirit to prosper." - http://www.starstuffs.com/animal_totems/dictionary_of_insects.html

Here are some ladybug wisdom I invite you to apply:​​ 

  • Acknowledge you are the midst of a process, and so is everyone else. You are not alone.
  • leaf
    Reaching goals, especially soulful goals will have both times of action, and recharge.
  • Trust the process. When you feel like you are not getting the results you want, check in with a trusted friend or colleague and they will give you honest feedback and mirror of how far you have come, and your brilliance.
  • We don't need to create, add, or enhance any form of protection for ourselves or businesses. We already have built-in natural defenses, and our head, heart, and body will share with us when it is time to be in action or pause. Fear doesn't need to drive the show. 
  • leaf
    Finally, surround yourself with people who want the best for you. People to encourage, challenge, inspire, hold you accountable, and fill in the missing skill sets that are not your specialty.

Reaching goals, especially soulful goals will have both times of action and recharge. @GivingExcellenc

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Surround yourself with people who want the best for you. People to encourage, challenge, inspire, hold you accountable, and fill in the missing skill sets that are not your specialty. This is Gathering of Brilliance. @GivingExcellenc

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Ladybug wisdom: Ladybugs are about metamorphosis, growth and manifestation of ideas and thoughts. It is a time succeed and start something new.  @GivingExcellenc

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Now is the time for metamorphis. Step into the growth and manifestation of both you and business's soul purpose. 

I would like to invite you to join me for a FREE webinar training, "SMART Goals on Purpose: Big Dreams, Big Purpose, Big Profits in 2018. You can find out more here or save your seat below. 

If you like what you read, please comment below and share on social media.

Here's to you and your business's brilliance and excellence!

-Mellissa Rempfer

Mellissa Rempfer, MA.ed AET

Mellissa Rempfer works to unite the Passion, Mission, Profession, and Vocation of the heart-centered entrepreneur.  Giving Excellence, is a coaching, training, and group facilitation services company dedicated to bringing connection, compassion, and awakening truth to the heart and soul of business. And she does all of this while travelling North America with her three-dog family, giving talks and finding inspiration from people, places, and experiences that touch her heart.

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Mellissa RempferLadybug Wisdom: You are not alone

Staff and Volunteer Burn-Out: 3 Ways to Avoid It!

by Mellissa Rempfer on December 14, 2014 1 comment

Many of you who work with non profits at some point you were involved as a volunteer. Perhaps you had a wonderful experience. Perhaps you were left dissastified. Perhaps you felt like it was time to move on or life was changing directions. What ever the reason that lead to a change in what you did as a volunteer, the worse is to have burn out. Just as you might have experienced burn-out, we want to help you so that you can avoid it with your volunteers.

You may recognise this feeling in yourself and/or those who you work with. Starting to dread the commitment you made to attend a function or stuff envelopes. Maybe you have an excuse already in mind when the ask comes if you could help with…(fill in the blank). Whatever the reasoning that is given, in this sector volunteers are your life line. Without volunteers to support the cause; it costs more money in staff and it is not like money grows in trees for charities.

Here are three ways to avoid Volunteer Burn-Out:

  • Recognize and acknowledge the Volunteer or staff.

    Sounds simple enough, but too often volunteers are seen as someone to complete a task. These are people who are giving up their resources in skills, time and probably money. Make sure that the thank you is genuine and sincere. If it is just a smile saying Thank You, a card, or hey bring them some coffee every once in a while when you make your coffee run. The volunteer will value that you noticed them and this could motivate them to continue to support your cause.

  • Meet their Needs.

    Say you have 5 people who have agreed to volunteer. You just completed an intake and now you assign them to areas A, B and C. Great, you get them started. Question for you, during the intake did you find out what they are interested in? I am not saying what their CV or resume said, but what did they say they are interested in? I share this because this has happened to me many many times. Most of the time there was no intake process and my submission to wanting to volunteer resulted in stuffing envelopes. After a period of time the volunteer who completes the task they have been assigned will experience burn-out simply from lack of using their skills and boredom. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the simplicity of stuffing envelopes, but I, like other volunteers enjoy challenges. One organisation took the time to ask what do I want out of volunteering and I will share it was the most fulfilling and enjoyable years of my life as a volunteer. So before you even start the path of burn-out, ask the volunteer what do they want and help them meet their needs and desires.

  • Develop and Transition.

    Burn-out often comes as a result of lack of growth and/or overuse. If you have a volunteer that you see potential in and who is committed to the success of your organisation, take the time to create a development plan for them. This helps the volunteer know that you want to keep them around and invest in them as they are investing in the charity. This should be something that offers them growth as well as give them a time frame for how long they will be working in this capactity and role. Transition is crucial and I recommend that each area should have a volunteer no more than 2 years. (3 years for Board Members, but majority of volunteers, no more than 2). The volunteer can stay involved, but if you have someone stay in the same role, it limits other volunteers who may want to step up. It also will decrease the burn out from the volunteers while spreading the wisdom and commitment to those involved.

Please share your comments about solutions and experiences with volunteer burn-out. Feel free to pass this along to others who may be interested.

So take care of those Volunteers, so Volunteer Burnout does not strike your organization!

Till next time,

-Mellissa Rempfer

Giving Excellence, host of the Brilliance and Business community

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Mellissa RempferStaff and Volunteer Burn-Out: 3 Ways to Avoid It!

Warning! Check Engine Light: Volunteer Burn-Out Symptoms

by Mellissa Rempfer on December 14, 2014 No comments

You are sitting in your vehicle, cruising along to somewhere when da da dummm… the dreaded Check Engine Light or Service Engine Soon Light pops on. What goes through your head… “Oh no, I can’t afford this right now!”, “Again, really, I just had this checked!”, “Hmmm, this is strange, nothing appears to be wrong”. Whatever you can think or imagine I highly doubt if your initial response was, “Yay! I love when this light comes on. Thank you!” As humans, even the most positive people probually do not greet the light with a warm welcome. Yet, the light has a purpose and if we respond accordingly then we can be saving ourselves from time, resources and a huge headache. The same can be true for volunteers who are showing signs of Burn Out.

This week, we will be focusing on burn out symptoms that would lead to a check engine or service engine soon light to go off showing signs of distress with your volunteers and volunteer management.

Just like with the light going on in the vehicle, this is a warning. The issue/cause/situation could be minor, a one-time thing or it could be something of significance. No matter how minor to major it may be; the issue needs to be looked into just as the same response of inquiring is needed for your volunteers.

Symptoms in volunteers that trigger a warning light:

  • Change in communication frequency.

    You may notice that the volunteer used to be really good at communicating with you and others and lately it seems that they are taking longer to respond or not at all. You may also have an increase in communication, but not showing signs of production and work; this increase in communication either in person or through phone calls, emails and other correspondence will have a tint of complaints, grumbling or unhappiness.

  • Decrease or not signing up to participate.

    This is a huge symptom that a warning light is on. When Volunteers stop signing up or agreeing to participate. Better get this checked out.

  • “I have nothing to do”.

    If you have a volunteer who tells you they have nothing to do, and you have nothing for them to do; again a warning sign. It is ok to have nothing for a volunteer to do for a short period of time because they completed their assignment, it is another issue completely when you hear this statement more than once. Now would be a good time to look at how you are managing the volunteers and how much or more likely how little are you delegating or offering volunteers to grow and develop.

  • Burn-out

    Burn-out is really a lack of desire to do any more. Maybe you have the same volunteers do the same thing all the time and the person wants something new. Maybe, the person is bored and not being challenged. Perhaps they just feel unappreciated. Whatever it may be as the cause, burn out is a general term that we can all relate to and it shows up as a warning light very clearly.

  • No new ideas, “We have always done it this way”

    One of the gifts that volunteering can do for organizations is bring in people from different backgrounds and expertize to help your organization. If you or experience the symptom of no new ideas or hear the statement, “we have always done it this way”; again warning sign something needs to be looked into. With lack of fresh ideas or even looking at things with different perspectives, it can be challenging for organizations to continue to grow and develop. This is really crucial when it deals with raising money or trying new things to expand and educate/promote who and what you are doing and offering. If it is always the same, your organization will become static.

So this week look at your volunteers and how they are managed. On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being no signs at all and 10 being a warning light. Check the status of these symptoms. And if you do have them, what are you going to do about it? Please share and leave comments, love to hear from you.

Till next time,

-Mellissa Rempfer

Giving Excellence, host of the Brilliance and Business Community

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Mellissa RempferWarning! Check Engine Light: Volunteer Burn-Out Symptoms